Years ago I read a book by Elizabeth George and was struck by a story she shared in the book. A woman who had been to one of her conferences told her that after she had returned home from the conference her attitude toward her husband changed and she began to do little kindnesses for him and treat him differently. One day he came to her and asked if he was dying. How sad! Her changed behavior made him feel that perhaps their doctor had told her that he was dying! The way that that translated into my life was I began to ask myself when I saw a little kindness I could do for my husband like taking him a glass of cold water when he was working in the yard or anything that I saw I could do for him but just did not feel like doing I would ask myself, “Would I do this for Roy if I knew he was dying?” The answer was always yes. And so I did. No one knows the day or time of our graduation to heaven. Each contact, each kindness may be our last. I made an effort to make each interaction with Roy such that if that was our last I would not have regrets and one day there was one last contact (a story for a different day).
We are not in charge of the behavior of other people. We cannot control their responses. We can control our own-sometimes with great effort. We are called to serve as the hands and feet and heart of Jesus. Serving our husband is not foreign to that. We are Christ’s ministers to our husbands–even if they are challenging people. Your response speaks of your character especially when he is not kind, considerate, or is acting with less than grace (aka like a jerk) I personally want to be like Jesus. Our homes are often the hardest places to do that but that is no excuse–we are called to be Christ-like even in the hard places.
Have you made this choice?
Love, love, love,